Her Doctor's Christmas Proposal Read online

  Once outside Isabel sucked in a deep breath. ‘This was supposed to be just a conference and then some holiday time. I feel wrung out by it all. I think I’m going to need a holiday when I get back to Cambridge.’

  Sean’s arm was round her shoulder as they walked down the steps and towards the Metro station. ‘You take everything to heart, and you shouldn’t. She’s not your responsibility. Are you like this with all your patients?’

  Isabel laughed. ‘As if! I’d never get through the day. I manage to keep a perfectly good professional distance but I do care. It’s my job to care. But Marina’s not my patient. She’s…well, she needs a friend, everyone needs that.’

  ‘You don’t know anything about her.’

  ‘I know that she loves her kids and that she’d do anything for them. I know that she’s desperate and I’ve been there too.’ And he was right, she shouldn’t have got involved. But how could she not? Somehow the emotion of the week had got to her.

  He’d got to her. Spending time with him had cracked open that barrier she’d so carefully built around her heart and now it seemed she was prey to every emotion out there. That had to stop. And right now.

  They’d arrived at the Metro and her heart began its funny little thumping and her tummy began to whirl.

  Sean looked at his watch then shrugged a shoulder. ‘I’m going to have to go and get that train, but I want to make sure you’re all right.’

  And now he was going to leave and the moment she’d been dreading reared its ugly head. ‘Of course, I’m fine. There are thousands of people like Marina all over the world and I can’t help them all. I do understand.’

  He pulled her collar around her ears and gave her a look she couldn’t read. ‘I didn’t mean Marina. I meant us. This.’

  Us. The thought of it made her hopeful…but then the doubt fairies started to circle again. ‘Of course, I’m fine. After I’ve waved you off with my white handkerchief I’m going to do more shopping…’

  He grinned. ‘Oh, yes, of course. The deep and meaningful way of dealing with goodbyes.’

  ‘The only way of dealing with anything, surely?’ Part of her wanted to cling to his arm and refuse to let him go into the station, to drag him back to bed and replay last night, to never go back to Cambridge or Melbourne and stay here, in Paris, and just be us. Her throat was clogged with words she couldn’t say to him out loud—the poor guy would run a mile.

  But he wasn’t going to let it go. ‘That’s not what I was asking, Isabel.’

  Oh, she knew what he was asking, all right, she just didn’t know how to answer. ‘I mean, it’s been really great, Sean, but…geez, husband? I had to chuckle to myself when she said that…’

  He frowned. ‘That stupid an idea, is it?’

  She’d thought he’d have seen the joke too. Thought that the notion of them being married would have made him smile and raise his eyebrows in disbelief. ‘What? No. I mean…well…’

  His shoulders dropped a little. ‘Things will change when we go back to work.’

  She infused her voice with fake joy. ‘No bed picnics and lie-ins for us…not when we’re playing stork and delivering much-wanted babies. Busy on-call rosters. And, besides, in a couple of weeks I’ll be heading back to Aussie. You’ll be in Cambridge, then who knows where…?’

  He nodded. ‘You sound as if you’re trying to convince yourself that it’s not worth the effort.’

  ‘No. That’s not it at all.’

  He tucked a lock of her hair behind her ear, then his hands skimmed her arms and locked her in place. ‘I know you’re scared. I understand—it’s freaking me out too. So it’s probably a good thing that we have this time to take stock. There’s a lot to work through.’

  ‘Yes. Of course, so much to think about.’

  She thought he was going to walk away but he stepped closer, cupped her face in his hands and brought his mouth close to hers. ‘I was angry about what happened, I admit that. I said some stupid things and I apologise. I was a jerk on the train and an idiot at the wine-tasting. It’s taken some time for me to get used to the idea of what I missed out on—and it hasn’t been easy. Isabel, I’m not a heart-on-my-sleeve kind of bloke, but…it could work, you know. If we wanted it to. We just have to believe. Can you do that?’

  The kiss he gave her was lingering and warm. It told her without any doubt that he was willing to do anything to make this work, that he wanted her, that he wanted this.

  Did she? Yes. Her heart was cheering. Yes.

  And still the questions buzzed in her head along with the one true belief she’d kept all those years: you’ll get hurt.

  Plain and simple.

  ‘Can you do that, Izzy? Can you believe?’

  Izzy. Oh, yes, in his arms she was Izzy again, she couldn’t deny it—he had her down pat. He was the only guy who ever had. But was it enough? She’d done wrong by him and they would never get away from that, from that one night that changed everything. It happened; she couldn’t pretend it hadn’t. ‘I don’t know, Sean. I’m sorry.’

  He pulled away. ‘You need to stop apologising for everything and start to believe in us again.’

  She grasped the keys on the chain round her neck. ‘I’m going to try. I promise. I’ll try.’

  ‘Good. Me too. When are you back in Cambridge?’

  ‘Twenty-third, late…then I’m on call Christmas Eve, dinner at Bonnie’s in the evening if I can get away…’ She watched him try to keep up and it sounded like a load of excuses, but it was her life—just her life. This was how it was going to be if anything became of us—two busy professionals trying to fit each other in—none of the all-consuming togetherness they’d shared here. None of what they’d had all those years ago when life was theirs for the taking. ‘I’m at work Christmas Day.’

  He pecked a kiss onto her nose and tilted her face up to his. ‘I’ll see you on Christmas Day then, at work—maybe we can do something after our shifts? I don’t want you to be on your own.’

  ‘Thank you, that would be wonderful. I don’t want to be alone, either. Dinner, maybe?’

  ‘Yes, dinner. And the rest…everything.’ At her smile he found one too. ‘Believe, Izzy. Take a chance.’ Then he let her go and turned away, his duffle bag high on his back, taking long, long strides into the busy tube station. And taking, along with him, her heart.

  CHAPTER TEN

  ‘OOH, LOVELY, MORE CHOCOLATES!’ Isabel reached across the labour suite nurses’ station desk and grabbed a chewy toffee from the box before they all disappeared. ‘From another grateful client?’

  ‘Hmm, yes.’ Bonnie looked up from her seat in front of the computer screen, popped a chocolate into her mouth and sucked; she had a pair of red velvet reindeer ears on a band over her lovely russet-coloured hair. ‘It’s the best bit about working at Christmas—all the patients get nostalgic about gifts and babies and mangers and we get the benefit. Although there only ever seems to be strawberry creams left when I get to choose.’

  ‘Aww, that’s because, as labour suite sister, you make sacrifices for your staff. It’s very noble of you.’

  Bonnie laughed. ‘It’s because I’m too busy to stop and eat, more like.’

  She did indeed have a busy life, what with a little daughter and now Jacob in her life, plus this unit to run. But, if anyone could make it work, Bonnie could. Isabel felt a wee pang of jealousy—it looked like Sister Bonnie had managed to get it all: family, a man who adored her and a job she loved. Some people really could put their past behind them and believe things could work out. ‘Don’t worry, sweetie, I’ll bring a box of yummy French choccies tonight just for you, specifically with no strawberry creams.’

  ‘Oh, good, are you still coming over for dinner? Freya’s so excited to see you—but be warned… Father Christmas is on his way so she’ll be hyped-up beyond belief.’

  After her now ex-husband’s tawdry affair with her best friend, Bonnie had made a fresh start in Cambridge, bringing her daughter away from everything
familiar. She had worked hard to make her happy here and to provide everything the girl needed. Isabel had to admit to having fallen just a little bit in love with the little tyke…hyped or not. ‘Okay…no worries at all, I’m looking forward to it. Christmas Eve is so special when you’re five. How’s Jacob bearing up with it all? Must be strange for him to be sharing his house with a ready-made family?’

  Bonnie sighed. ‘Don’t tell him I said so, but he loves it. Underneath that brooding exterior is a sucker for candy canes and Santa sacks. Between you and me he’s about as hyped-up as Freya.’

  Isabel laughed, imagining their straight-as-a-die, oh-so-professional boss in a Santa outfit. Somehow the image just didn’t fit. ‘There’s a side to him we don’t get to see, obviously. I got Freya some gorgeous dresses in Paris…you’ll just die when you see them!’

  ‘Oh, that’s so sweet, but you know you didn’t have to buy her anything, really. Anyway, never mind my terrible twosome, tell me about Dr Dreamcakes. I’m all ears and green with envy. A vacation with him in Paris…’ Bonnie put the back of her hand to her forehead and pretended to swoon. ‘Naughty Jacob for setting you two up like that. I swear he had an ulterior motive, but he denies all agendas other than a work one. And I’m sorry he couldn’t go to Paris with you—that may have been my fault. I wanted to make the build-up to Christmas a special one for Freya, and I put some pressure on Jacob not to go. Still, up close and very personal à la France, with a hunk like Sean, what’s not to like? How was it?’

  Bless her, all loved-up and finally with the full fairy tale, Bonnie hadn’t got a clue about the state of Isabel’s mind. Her history with Sean had been a well-kept secret from day one and, truth was, Isabel didn’t know how it was.

  The few extra days in Paris had been filled with thinking and shopping and worrying. And helping Marina, Teo and Lucia move into temporary accommodation. And then there had been a lot more thinking and wishing and panicking about how she really felt. Which was…confused. She’d spent the last few hours at work grateful that Sean had the day off today and that she wouldn’t have to face him until tomorrow, because no doubt he’d want some kind of an answer. One more sleepless night to try to sort out her head. ‘Oh, you know…it was…Paris.’

  ‘Hey, you’re back!’ Hope Sanders, one of the other unit midwives, walked out of a side room and wrapped Isabel into a big hug. ‘How’re you doing? Have you seen the crazy amount of stuff we’ve got for the first Christmas baby?’

  ‘I know, lucky winner! How on earth they’ll get that lot home I don’t know. They’re going to need to call in Santa and his sleigh.’ A huge mountain of gifts now swamped a shopping trolley; the generosity of the unit staff, clients and relatives had been amazing. ‘We could halve it and give a prize for the first baby of the new year too.’

  ‘What an excellent idea, Isabel. We could do that and share the love.’

  For a moment Isabel thought that her trip might well have been forgotten. Prayed so. Alas no… Hope squeezed a drop of sanitiser onto her hands, rubbed them vigorously and grinned. ‘So, come on, how was it? How was Dr Sex-On-Legs? How was Paris? Oh… Wait… Hang on, I’ve just got to go to the ladies’. Don’t say a single word until I get back.’

  ‘Don’t worry, I won’t…’ Won’t say anything at all, if I can help it. Isabel smiled at her friends. Gosh, she was going to miss this lot when she went home. There was nothing quite like a group of warm and welcoming women to bridge that homesickness gap. They’d all made her very welcome despite their own troubles, and, God knew, they’d all had their fair share over the last year. Bonnie had moved from Scotland and moved in with Jacob before she even knew him; Hope had met and fallen for Aaron, the totally gorgeous American infertility specialist; and rumour had it that midwife Jess Black was also loved up with sexy SCBU doc Dean Edwards, if their spectacular kiss at the Christmas party was anything to go by; but not without a few road bumps along the way for all of them. Somehow they’d survived, the better and happier for it. Apart from Isabel, of course. She was just muddled.

  Bonnie smiled as she watched Hope walk down the corridor towards the bathrooms. ‘Not that I’m counting, but that’s the third time Hope’s been to the loo this morning. I hope she’s okay. None of my business, of course.’

  ‘No, none whatsoever.’ Isabel raised her eyebrows in question, which was girl code for tell me what you’re thinking.

  Bonnie’s eyebrows rose in response. ‘She seems very happy. Glowing, I’d say.’

  ‘What? D’you think…? No, not Hope…and Aaron? And…pitter-patter?’

  ‘I have no idea…but peeing a lot is one of the first telltale signs…’

  Really, nothing was terribly secret on this unit. They all worked long hours and much of their social time was spent together too; they were like family. Everyone knew how gooey Hope went over the newborns, how much she desperately wanted one of her own…and the heat between her and Aaron had been off the scale every time those two had laid eyes on each other. She’d had IVF planned to become a single mum and no one had dared ask her how it had gone; they thought she’d tell them when she had news. Maybe Hope had finally got her dream too?

  After a few minutes Isabel watched Hope sauntering back onto the ward, smiling to herself, her hand gently rubbing her abdomen. ‘I think if she had anything to tell us she would. It’s not for us to speculate.’

  Bonnie shrugged and winked. ‘All I was saying was that she’s spent a lot of time on the loo this morning. And she seems quite happy about it. Nothing gossipy about that, it’s all just facts.’

  Hope reached them. ‘Sorry about that. Now, Isabel, tell me about Paris. Was it wonderful?’

  ‘We had a very interesting conference, thank you.’

  ‘Interesting? What exactly does that mean?’ Bonnie checked her watch, stood and walked across to Isabel. ‘Come on, you can dish the dirt on the way.’

  ‘To lunch? Aww, no, sorry, ladies, much as I’d love to come with you I have so much paperwork to catch up on, emails and stuff, I don’t have time today.’

  Bonnie’s arm looped through Isabel’s. ‘I thought you’d say that. As it happens we need some extra personnel downstairs…so you’re coming with us. We won’t keep you too long. I said we’d meet Jess down there.’

  ‘Jess?’ Isabel sensed mischief. ‘Down where? The cafeteria? I said I can’t do lunch. Are we doing lunch?’

  ‘Not so much.’ As they strolled towards the hospital main exit Jess walked towards them, arms full of Santa hats.

  ‘Oh, great, you made it.’ Jess gave them all a big grin. Another one in the unit to have had a difficult year, but for whom things were very definitely looking up. ‘Thank you so much. I have some extra people coming down from SCBU too, a backing track and some collection boxes. We should make quite a bit, fingers crossed.’

  Oh-oh. Isabel felt as if she’d been duped into something she might not enjoy. ‘Make what? Doing what?’

  ‘Carol singing.’

  ‘Really? At lunchtime? Why?’ Me? Sing? ‘It’s not my thing, really. I have work to do.’

  ‘Oh, come on, sweetheart. You’re a long way from home and we thought you might enjoy it.’ Bonnie draped some glittery red tinsel over Isabel’s shoulder while Jess stuck a red hat on her head. ‘Because this is what we do at Christmas. Here’s some tinsel—wrap it round your stethoscope. You are going to have a taste of our lovely British traditions. No beach and prawns on the barby…’ She put on a terrible Australian accent. ‘It’s all mince pies, roast chestnuts and lots and lots of singing.’

  ‘We sing. I just don’t like doing it all that much.’ It was too much of a reminder, all that little baby Jesus stuff. Away in a manger. Lay down his sweet head.

  ‘You’ll love it, honestly, and it’s for a good cause.’ Jess grinned. ‘I’ve even managed to coerce Dean to help out, and that’s got to be a first.’

  Isabel had had a few professional dealings with Dean Edwards over preemies in SCBU; he was a damned fine doctor and a
pretty decent colleague. A bit of a heartthrob too, if she was honest. But no one ever seemed to match up to Sean, no matter how much she looked. And she’d look a heck of a party-pooper if she didn’t join in now. Better to get it over with and then leave. ‘Dean Edwards, singing? Well, if he’s in then I guess I am. I have got to see this.’

  ‘Oh, there he is.’ Jess walked towards him as if she were floating on air. She gave him a shy smile and he gave her one in return, oblivious to anyone else in the room. Jess handed him a hat. More facts in the department: Jess and Dean were now dating… ‘Thank you for coming down.’

  Hope stopped mid-tinsel-wrapping. ‘Oh…hang on. I just need…wait. I just need to pee. I’ll be right back.’

  Bonnie threw Isabel a look as if to say I told you so, then back at Hope. ‘You just went.’

  Looking a little sheepish, Hope stuck out her tongue, but the smile stuck. ‘Who are you, my mother?’

  ‘Sometimes it feels like I’m everyone’s mother here—it comes with the job description.’ Bonnie looked at her seriously. ‘Hope, are you okay?’

  ‘Yes… Yes, I’m fine. Oh…come here all of you. I need to tell you something.’ Hope steered the three of them, Isabel, Jess and Bonnie, across to a quiet corner, took their hands. ‘Listen, ladies, this has so got to be a secret, but I can’t think straight unless I tell you… I’m pregnant! Sorry, we’re pregnant, me and Aaron…’

  Isabel pretended to look blown away with surprise. ‘Wow! That’s so fabulous, honey. Well done you. The IVF worked?’

  Hope looked as if she was going to burst with excitement. ‘No…no, that’s just it… I never thought it would happen like this… I went for the implantation and I didn’t need it. I was already pregnant. I’m so excited.’