How To Resist A Heartbreaker Page 9

  She stopped. Waited for him to finish his conversation. The whole time she stared at him, unable to wriggle out of his grip. Her face darkened, reddened, lips tightening into the thinnest line he’d ever seen. Her eyes blazed raw and black. And all he could think of was how she’d looked sprawled on her desk, panting and spent. Vulnerable, but so vibrant. How he wanted to make her wriggle like that again.

  He flicked his phone back into his pocket. ‘Your desk is only two floors away. We could make it in five minutes. Two if we run. What do you say?’

  ‘I say let go of me, Maitland, or I call Security.’ Her voice was loud and unwavering.

  Smiling as sweetly as he could, he leaned into that soft, sweet-smelling spot at the nape of her neck. ‘Okay, we’re at work, and it doesn’t feel right, that’s fine. But listen, I have a kidney on its way from Dargaville. And a recipient driving up from Cambridge. I have to operate. Today. Or both the kidney and the patient will die. But I will be free after that.’

  ‘So?’

  ‘So you are six hours away from the best sex of your life. Do not walk away from me now.’

  ‘You have no respect.’ Pinching his hand with her free fingernails, she sent jarring spiky pains through his skin.

  ‘Ouch. What the…?’

  Grabbing his moment of weakness as an opportunity, she wrenched her fingers out of his. Shoved her fists on her hips and looked at him the way his uncle used to. A long time ago, but he still felt that familiar sting of shame, usually two seconds before he’d felt the sting of the belt. He was expecting the must try harder retort. He’d clearly disappointed her and he didn’t know why.

  She scowled at him. ‘You don’t want a relationship, Max. That I can understand. You don’t want to commit. I get that too, I really do.’

  ‘So what’s your problem?’

  ‘Your problem is I will not be left waiting naked in bed…only to hear you describe me as “nothing important”.’

  He would have reached out to her again but valued his intact skin too much. ‘You thought I meant you?’

  ‘You did mean me. Us. Spending the day in bed.’

  ‘I didn’t mean it like that. It was a slip of the tongue.’

  ‘It came out all too easily, Max. And as I lay there naked and waiting, I got to thinking. I thought I was happy with our arrangement. It was fun, it sounded like a good idea. All grown up and sassy.’ Her shoulders slumped forward a little and her voice got smaller. ‘But I’ve never done anything like that before. I’m just not cut out to have sex and walk away.’

  ‘You managed it quite well before.’

  Her eyes blazed. ‘But don’t you see? I didn’t manage it at all. It was a mistake. I thought it was the kind of sophisticated Auckland thing to do. I thought I could walk away unscathed, but I can’t. I can’t treat you like that and I definitely deserve more respect. I’m not a toy and I’m not going to be treated as nothing.’

  ‘Whoa. I didn’t realize. I messed up pretty big, didn’t I?’ He’d blown it. Acted like a jerk, trying too hard to please Jodi, look after Jamie, rise in his brother’s unforgiving eyes. And had hurt her in the process. Not realised that, despite her bravado, in reality Gabby needed more from him. Trouble was, he didn’t know if he was capable of giving it. ‘I’m sorry, Gabby.’

  ‘Yes, me too. But it wasn’t working.’

  He’d heard those words before. Too many times. And each time he’d thought it was someone else’s problem. Not his.

  But maybe she had a point. A small one. And worse, this time he didn’t want to lose this thing they had. Sure, he was going soppy in his old age, but he liked having her around. Hell, he ached to have her around. He wanted to fall asleep with her, wake up with her again. He liked the way she added colour to his apartment. She just needed to be convinced. ‘We can fix this.’

  ‘I don’t think so, Max. Not by taking me to bed again or having a quickie over my office desk. That won’t work.’

  ‘Then what would?’

  She stalked away, her words trailing back to him on a hiss. ‘Hell, if you can’t work it out with all those fancy medical qualifications, you are six hours away from missing the best sex of your life.’

  Atta girl. He smiled as he watched her retreat. He was not going to miss out on that sex for anything. Challenge was his middle name. And that was the kind of gauntlet he could run.

  *

  Six hours, three minutes and fourteen seconds later, Gabby carefully placed the last of her blue boxes into the bottom of her wardrobe with a heavy heart and dashed to answer the door.

  ‘You’re late,’ she said, to the thick green spiky bush bristling outside on her porch. She wouldn’t admit to the ridiculous rabble of butterflies flexing their wings in her stomach.

  But… What. The. Hell? He’d actually thought about what she’d said. That he’d even turned up was an amazing step forward. That he’d come with a plant rocketed him to idol level.

  It was scary, but it was a start. Her emotions hovered between let’s get back between the sheets and run for the hills. For well over a month she’d kept a lid on her emotions, thought she’d conquered her weakness for irritating transplant surgeons. When she’d lobbed those words at him earlier she’d believed there wasn’t a chance in hell he’d actually rise to the bait.

  She should have known better. He was a Maitland, after all—they always played to win. ‘And you have to go one better, don’t you? A small plant would have sufficed. A bunch of flowers? Chocolates?’

  The bush wobbled as branches edged their way through the door. ‘Give me a break, will you? Walking a tree down the road is harder than you think. And it’s got teeth.’

  ‘It’s a cordyline bush, not a tree, and, no, it hasn’t.’

  He laughed. ‘You know way too much about plants and all that.’

  How could she take a talking cordyline seriously? ‘I was brought up on a lifestyle block. We did outdoorsy things.’ Too many. Then stuff had happened. Isaac had happened. And now she had to live with the fallout. They all did.

  Sucking in a big breath, she closed that door in her mind. Some decisions she’d have to live with, but she was determined to move on. She’d been destined for great things, her nonna had said—so Gabby was going to make sure they happened. ‘Come on, let’s take it through to the garden.’

  Max stopped short as he squeezed out the back door. ‘Garden? Garden? This is worse than mine.’

  ‘I’m working on it. The landlord has the audacity to describe it as an oasis. But, look, I have herbs and a flower bed.’ Kicking the dry earth, she sighed. ‘It’s very different from the soil in Wellington.’

  ‘Okay, so you’re from Wellington.’ His words were muffled slightly by foliage.

  ‘Yes. Well, we live in a small township just north.’ They truly knew little about each other yet had been so intimate. Talking to him now, without the pressure of work or sex, was easy. Her words just tumbled out, unguarded. She’d have to be careful of that. ‘It’s a farming community with people trying to scratch out a living. We have a few hectares.’

  Land that had depended on her being there to help tend it in what little spare time she’d had. God knew what state it was in now. Her mother would have to cope without her. That would be a first. ‘There were only three of us—Mum, my grandmother and me—so I had to help out a lot around my studies and work. We sold our produce at the local farmers’ markets.’

  ‘Sounds fun.’

  ‘Sounds stifling.’ With her dominating grandmother and manipulating mother, it sounded very much like the prison it had become.

  A dull ache squeezed in her abdomen and she ran her hand over her belly as a wave of nausea rippled through her. Memories affected her in too many ways these days.

  ‘Not a lot of fun, then?’

  She breathed away the pain. ‘Hardly living life on the edge, no.’

  Late-afternoon sun filled the dusty courtyard, giving the place a feeling of summer, although they were far from that. But
the sunshine warmed her, gave her a sense of optimism. She was here in Auckland with a fabulous job and a gorgeous man.

  Gabby leaned against the doorframe, watching Max bend to put the plant on the ground. Maybe she could get over her anxieties about spending time with him, maybe they could work on the friends thing. That would be nice. She’d been working so hard she’d barely had time to make friends. Maybe…just maybe the benefits could come later. Once she’d got her head around her emotions.

  But watching him straighten up and turn to face her, his eyes squinting in the sun, hair mussed up from plant-carrying, her breath was stripped from her lungs. God, he was gorgeous. Getting her head around her emotions might take a little time. ‘So, you came here for…? A reason? Surely not just to bring gifts?’

  He stepped forward, his mouth curling into a smile. ‘I came to apologise. Seems to me we’ve gone about this all the wrong way: sex first then trying to learn about each other afterwards.’

  ‘Isn’t that your mojo? You should be used to it, surely?’

  ‘Kind of. But I really do think we should clear the air. Let’s go out.’

  Her heart began to hammer against her ribcage. She was scared that the more she learnt about him, the more she’d like. And then the harder it would be to let go. And she didn’t want this to be a sympathy invitation either. Or just another of his games. Because she knew he liked to win and she wasn’t sure she was up to fighting him. ‘Are you asking me out on a date? Because I don’t think so.’

  ‘No. Not a date. It’s a getting-to-know-you…meeting.’ He grinned. ‘And as you’re newish to Auckland I thought I’d take you sightseeing.’

  ‘And what about our commitment issues?’

  His eyes widened in surprise. ‘Whoa. Straight talking as always, Nurse Radley. It’s a dinner invitation, not a marriage proposal. The issues still stand. But I thought you might consider overlooking them, at least for tonight.’ He stuck out his hand; it was warm and firm as she fitted hers into it. ‘Gabby, please do me the honour of accompanying me for the evening. If we have fun, we may consider repeating it again tomorrow. Much more than that, I don’t know.’

  ‘Well, I’ve never been asked out on a non-date with a guy who can’t plan past tomorrow before. This could be interesting.’ Everything about his words and what she knew about him should have sounded alarm bells. But how could she turn down a plant-bearing sex god who just wanted to clear the air? ‘I’ll get my shoes.’

  She dropped his hand and dashed inside the house, aware of his eyes on her the whole time. Question was, could she get in and out of her bedroom without him actually glimpsing her space?

  ‘Or we could just skip the dinner thing.’ He leaned lazily on the doorjamb, the heat in his eyes stoking the charge in her stomach. ‘After all, one thing I can do is give you a good time. But you know that already. This your room?’

  ‘No! Don’t come in here.’ No. No. Her heart thumped loudly as she shook her head. She couldn’t have him in her room. Not until she was certain everything had been unpacked into its correct place. Until there was no way he’d see her things and think she was more crazy than she actually was.

  He kicked the door open gently with his toe. Then frowned at the neat and tidy space. ‘What’s wrong, are you hiding a dead body or something?’

  ‘No. It’s just personal.’ Ask no questions, I’ll tell you no lies.

  ‘Hey, it was a joke.’

  ‘Oh. Sorry.’ Seemed she’d overreacted. But how could she explain the things she kept in there without breaking her heart all over again? She had to get him out and do some air-clearing herself. ‘So, let’s go. Where are we headed?’

  The questions in his eyes faded a little as his smile found its place again. ‘First stop, the Sky Tower… You did say you were okay with heights?’

  *

  ‘This was not what I thought you meant.’ Gabby’s heart jumped and skittered as she stood dressed in a deeply unflattering blue and yellow jumpsuit and clutching a large metal clip attached to a harness. The windchill at one hundred and ninety-two metres was surprising, and it whipped her voice away a little. Either that or she truly was scared out of her wits.

  Okay, yes. She was truly scared out of her wits.

  She had to shout to make herself heard, but knew Max wasn’t listening anyway. He had that determined look on his face that told her the man wasn’t for moving. ‘I thought we were having dinner here in that fancy revolving restaurant I’ve heard so much about. I prefer being inside. I prefer eating. Can we go back in? Please?’

  Smiling, he adjusted her harness. ‘Come on, fearless Gabby isn’t scared? Surely not. Time to live life on the edge. Didn’t you say you hadn’t had a lot of that?’

  ‘Is being up the top of this thing not enough? Now you want me to jump off it, too?’

  ‘It’s not dangerous. You’re held on by a wire. Not like real base jumping. This is tame.’ He brushed back a wayward curl that had blown into her face by the sky-scraping hurricane. ‘I will if you will.’

  ‘It’s still a long way down at eighty-five kilometres an hour.’ Yes, she’d listened to the instructions, read the notices, memorised the safety routine. If she was going to jump to her death then she would be well informed doing it. She curled into the heat of his palm, hoping he’d cup her cheek and kiss her. Then she’d find the strength to do this. ‘I’ll only do it if I can push you off first. You deserve nothing less.’

  Damn right she had enough strength to do that.

  ‘Deal.’ He gave Jason, the jump master, the thumbs up. ‘Ready when you are, boss.’

  But Gabby held on tight to the rail. She peered over the edge to the streets below, where antlike people went about their normal lives rather than self inducing heart attacks at the top of the tallest tower in the southern hemisphere. Oh, and the building was swaying too. Great.

  Then she slowly lifted her head and gazed out across the panorama of the city buildings and further still to the ocean. Another cruise ship was docking—it seemed tiny from this height. ‘But why? Why this?’

  ‘Two reasons. Firstly, it’s a rite of passage. You can’t come to Auckland and not do this.’

  ‘You want to bet? I’m sure there’s plenty of people who have never done this. I want to be one of them. I like never having done this.’ The wind whipped up harder now, making the platform shake. The noise of the rattling metal echoed her erratic heartbeat.

  ‘Then they haven’t lived.’ His hand covered hers and squeezed. ‘And, secondly, it’s about trust.’

  ‘Now I’m really confused.’ She’d started to shiver.

  Putting his arms around her, he drew her close. She hesitated slightly, but he nodded and she went willingly into his embrace—as far as the wires and the harness and the clips allowed.

  There was something so protective about him—his regular breathing, the heat of his body, the way he held on to her as if he’d never let her go. Ironic, then, that he wanted her to jump into nothing, supported by a flimsy wire. He whispered into her hair, ‘Would I do anything to hurt you?’

  He’d already hurt her once with careless words. ‘I don’t know.’

  ‘Okay, not quite the answer I was hoping for.’ He blinked. ‘Do you trust me?’

  ‘No.’ That she did know, categorically. How could she trust a man who said she was nothing? But, then, at least he was trying to make up for it. In a spectacularly lofty way.

  ‘Do you want to start trying?’

  ‘It’s too hard.’ She wanted to believe he wouldn’t hurt her. But she’d been there before—trusted a man—and it had ended in way more than tears.

  He tipped her chin up and gazed at her. ‘Trust me on this, Gabby. This is the best fun you’ll have in years. You won’t believe you found the courage to do it, but I know you’ll ace it.’

  Jason tapped his watch. The sun had started to dip below the horizon and if they were going to get the most out of this they’d have to do it now.

  She watched Max ed
ge to the front of the deck. There was little now between him and the ground, many, many metres below. The closer he got to the edge the more her stomach felt like it was dropping.

  As he stood with his toes hanging over the edge of the thin platform, her heart rate went into overdrive, her legs barely held her up. He craned his neck round and winked. ‘You can do this, Nurse Radley.’

  This was exciting. Life-affirming. She shuffled forward, caught an intake of breath as she pressed her palms on his back. Caught her own scream as she forced all her frustration, her fear, her anger, her excitement…her growing need for him into her hands.

  And pushed. ‘See you at the bottom, Maitland.’

  Then he disappeared into the air and for a second she thought of all the bad things that might happen. But that wouldn’t. That this was indeed about trust. He wanted her to let go.

  He’d brought her here to do this because it wasn’t just an epic adventure, it was something fun they could share. A platform on which to base a friendship. Do you remember that time you pushed me off the Sky Tower? I remember your screams as you flew.

  A platform for trust. A beginning.

  Slowly, slowly.

  Then it was her turn.

  God. It was such a long way down. Such a leap of faith; in the wires and technology, in Max. In herself. Her courage almost failed her. She couldn’t do this, didn’t have the guts. She didn’t.

  So, she could remove the harness and go back inside to safety, or she could embrace this danger. She could turn it into a line, a line drawn between what had gone before and whatever happened next.

  Old Gabby would never have done this. Old Gabby would never have been allowed to step out on here and risk her life, risk anything. But new Gabby—well, she could do anything she liked.

  You do want more, Gabby, Max had said. And he was right. She did. She wanted fun and excitement, friendship, a rewarding job. The things everyone hoped for, that she’d been denied too long. Most of all, she wanted him.

  Looking at the tiny shapes below, she wished she’d gone first, wished that the last thing she’d seen had been Max’s face, felt his mouth against hers. She could just about make him out down there, standing away from the big red X, his arms outstretched as if to catch her. Would he? Was she putting her faith in too much? How messy would it be when it ended? Because surely nothing this amazing would last.